Damn Self-Righteous Vegans!

Well, it has been approximately two months as a Vegan, albeit a bad, cheating Vegan at that. (I have eaten a lot of fish, and have cheated a bit with the meat...And am not so good about butter already in things...)
I have lost somewhere between 5 or 10 lbs, although that is so little it could be water or the weight of my jeans...
But I had my cholesterol re-tested:
(Drumroll please...)
189. One hundred Eighty Nine!
That is a drop of 59 points in 2 months.
Freakin' amazing what a (mostly) vegan diet can do. I am amazed, and hopefully this is some much needed motivation to keep going with it.
But still fighting the shame and the urge to kick self-righteous Vegan's squarely in their thin asses. (Does that count as Cardio?)

1149 Lau Laus

This evening I helped a coworker prepare for his son's wedding. I was one member of a team that eventually produced Eleven Hundred Forty Nine Lau Laus. For those who have never tasted even one, a Lau Lau is a tasty bundle of fish, pork, beef and/or chicken wrapped in Taro leaves and then wrapped in Ti leaves. The cute packets are then steamed, often in coconut milk, until the meats are cooked and the Taro leaves are soft like spinach. Ti leaves are sacred, and I believe such packets of love are good luck.
Good luck to the happy couple!

Rumors

According to Hostess, it takes forty-five seconds to explode a Twinkie in a microwave.
This is true, but you are damn sure I am going to go prove it!

But I was shocked, (Shocked! I tell ya!) To find out the truth about the following food rumors:
Carrots do not improve your eyesight.
Turkey does not make you sleepy.
Twinkies are baked, and they do have a shelf-life, and that shelf-life is only 25 days.
McDonald's Shakes are not made of plastic and styrofoam.

But luckily, my favorite-ever food rumor is still true:
Cherry and Grape flavor sodas contain musk from Beaver glands. (mmm mmm good!) Go ahead, Google Castoreum.