Eating in the Philippines

I only took a few photos! Some fried banana fritters, squid awaiting the fryer,and coconuts!

The Gecko Likes the Cookies!

MMMMMMM! Spiced Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies cooling on a rack... with an early admirer snagging a taste!

Meringue Cookies

It is winter in Hawaii, and in honor of beautiful Mauna Kea iced with snow, I made meringue cookies with chocolate chips and macadamia nuts.
Okay, i had some eggwhites in the fridge from all the holiday baking, and I needed to use them.
This recipe makes wonderfully chewy meringues, which I like better than the crispy ones.

Some Time to Cook

My honey has been busy in the garden, which gives me ample opportunity for cooking with garden ingredients! I am a terrible gardener, but I can cook! This tomato broke it's branch before it ripened, so will end life as a fried green tomato.
The pie came as an accident. I had a bunch of eggs laid by a friend's chickens, and beautiful leeks from the farmer's market. I made crust for a quiche. DBF claimed to not like quiche for the over-cooked egg flavor. Pie crust quickly became a flat tart dough for sausage and leek tart... with runny yolked baked eggs atop. The quiche shell got a can of peaches and a makeshift brown sugar crumble and voila! Peach pie with whipped cream!

No, I didn't make gecko tea!

My man is trying to train this gecko to be his friend. I caught him checking out the tea and espresso, and finally choosing to lick honey off the honey bear. Pretty!

My Whale Photo on Schmap!

My Humpback Whale photo has been chosen for inclusion on the Schmap of Kohala Coast! This was a mother and calf that I photographed this winter. Yay! I am not a very good photographer, but I guess I am actually a Professional, since my photos have appeared in the (now defunct) Hawaii Island Journal.

RIP HIJ

So we were informed yesterday (the day AFTER a deadline. Grrrr.) that the Hawaii Island Journal, the last Hawaii-island-wide Independent media and my employer for the last 2 years, is closing.

Or more to the point, has closed. Effective immediately. The last one comes out today or tomorrow and I don't think there was any warning at all: No Farewell Issue or even a note from the editor or owner.

What has happened over the last year and a half, is the State-wide Stephens Media Group, a company based in Las Vegas and owner of the West Hawaii Today, Hilo Tribune...basically EVERYONE else on the island, introduced the Big Island Weekly, a supposedly liberal and entertainment weekly free rag, and direct competition to the HIJ. Supposedly they do this: Release a competitor rag, cause the local independent media to shut down, then cancel the fake weekly after it has accomplished it's task.

I enjoyed working for the Hawaii Island Journal, and will be sad to see what happens now. Not only for myself, who is out of a really cool job as a food writer, but for the whole island, which has lost it's own Independent voice.

Mmmmm Sushi!

This sushi is from an ahi-heavy meal at Sansei. The Nigiri is self-explanatory (those are spicy tuna rolls on the left side. The ones with the Tempura maui onion rings are foie gras nigiri with caramelized onions and mango dice. Decadent fusion, I know.
The nigiri photo was used in the paper with my article. Yum!

Bananas!

DBF has bananas growing in the yard. They are so good! Little apple bananas that are yummy and fresh and great with nutella!

I've Been on a Key Lime Kick

DBF gave me a bag of limes! Since he doesn't drink (especially tequila) the first thing to come to mind was, of course, Key Lime Pie!

I made one for Easter, I made one for work, I made one for a friend's baby shower, and I made one for DBF (and a few ramekins just for snacking)

Of all the Key Lime Camps, I belong to this one:

Graham Crust (as opposed to pastry), Eggs and cooking (instead of non-cook versions), whipped cream (vs. merangue.) I add a bunch of macnuts to the crust, and a ton of zest- everywhere! While technically these were Tahitian Limes (hybrided to our local citrus) I do like making this pie with actual Key Limes, but they are so tiny and labor-intensive. I would also like to try this recipe with lemons, oranges, grapefruits, calumundums...

Last Ramekin: Maybe I can find Bogart in "Key Largo" on cable...

The beautiful gardenias were also from DBF: He spoils me with them. He grows them and always makes sure the house is filled with them. What an awesome man! I should make him more pie...

Local Iron Chef Waimea Competition!

Saturday the 15th (Ides of March!) I was a judge at our local Farmer's Market, which hosted an "Iron Chef" Local-Style competition between Chef Daniel Thiebaut from Daniel Thiebaut, and Chef Neil Murphy from Merriman's restaurant.

The event raised awareness of local foods and the sustainability of our farms, and was hosted by the Farmer's Market Association, Slow Food Hawaii, The Mala'ai Garden at Wiamea Middle School, and the Kids at Kahilu program at the Kahilu Theatre, including the dancers from Angel Prince Dance.













Rules were as follows: Chefs would get a mystery ingredient, and would have some time to shop around the market for more ingredients. Then they would have 45 minutes to create a dish, with help from one dancer from Angel Prince and one Middle School student from Mala'ai Garden. Dishes were judged by 3 judges (including me!) with the following criteria: Taste, Presentation, and use of local ingredients. (We tied them).

The secret ingredient was fresh ground lamb from my friend Jan's Maluhia Farms and Hawaiian Homegrown Wool Company. The lambs were Bluebell, Junior, and I can't remember the third's name, but she did shear them before slaughter and their Romney wool in very soft.

Thiebaut made the lamb stuffed yellow pepper with watermelon radish rattatouille. Murphy made a vegetable and lamb layered gateau with smoked tomato sauce and egg and mushroom scramble.

They both looked amazing (see Bill Adams' of North Hawaii News photo of Neil's Gateau here. Much prettier than my photo!), they both used a massive amount of local ingredients, including the lamb, vegetables, goat cheese, and eggs. 

I thought Neil's gateau tasted the best, while Bernice thought Thiebaut's pepper was the best, and Chef Piet, the third judge, couldn't decide and suggested we tie them.

Good Fun!

One Reason to Love March

As a former girl scout myself, I have an enduring love for the cookies. Note that I only love the ones that were available during my scouting time. Note also the lack of Tagalongs, the peanut butter ones: I like them, but they were always my sisters, while the coconut encrusted Samoas were mine (she never liked coconut).
She and I both hate February, as well. Is it coincidence that we both hate the month immediately preceding the release of girl scout cookies? I think not:
I have this theory that the little brownie bakers are drugging the cookies with, like, a time release heroin or something. All former girl scouts are hooked at a young age and thus insure a life-long customer base. February comes along and we all go into moody withdrawals until the cookies appear in March. Am I the only one who over-splurges? Hording, case-purchases, bulk-buys... not uncommon. A few years back, my usual dealer, er, innocent-little-girl-scout won a frickin' bicycle because her sales were so high. Yup: That was me. I was told that it would have been cheaper to just buy her the bike, but then I wouldn't have the cookies. Must.Have.Cookies!

Happy Red Squishy Valentines Day!

Tomatoes at Pau in Waimea.

Farmer's Market Lemons

National Chocolate Cupcake Day

National Chocolate Cupcake Day
Originally uploaded by KelKnits

I read that October 18th was National Chocolate Cupcake Day, so last night I made these: Chocolate Cupcakes with chocolate frosting and cream cheese frosting flowers with mini chocolate chip centers. Horror of horrors: I made these from store-bought ingredients. I'm so ashamed! But as I told DBF, "If we all waited until I had the time to make baked goods from scratch, we wouldn't have any cupcakes to eat tonight!"
He had come into the house last night and proclaimed in shock, "Honey! Someone broke into your house, and left cake mix on your table! Who would break into your house and do such a thing and then just leave?!" -- Smartass.
I decorated them while knitting and watching a DVD. Well, not ALL at the same time...

A Little Bit of Best Of Writing...

The Hawaii Island Journal has posted the little articles awarding the "Best Of..." poll results. I have a little bit of writing in the restaurant section. Otherwise, they have had a bit of a slow-down when it comes to posting articles...

I love metric, a bushel and a peck!

An ounce of common sense preserved a pint of Guinness in the British Isles and Ireland. Read about it here!

Backlit grapes in a brand-new Tivoli strainer- part of a birthhday present. I was doing a little cooking today, and the light through the grapes was too pretty.

Turkish Coffee: Turk Khaveshi

Every time I land on the mainland I saturate myself with the types of ethnic foods that I cannot get here in Hawaii: Indian, Middle Eastern, Ethiopian, authentic Italian, Peaches, Blueberries...
This time I had a (unintended, thanks United!) layover at LAX, and instead of bumming around the airport, I rented a car and drove to San Diego to see my sister. We had Persian food at Soltan Banoo, followed by these delicious Turkish Coffees.
Turkish (Greek, Arabic, Armenian, etc.) Coffee is prepared in the pictured coffee maker, an Ibrik. Finely ground roasted coffee beans are mixed with sugar and water (and sometimes Cardamom), and allowed to set on the fire until just under boiling: The boiling foam is allowed to start up the sides of the Ibrik three times. The coffee is then poured hot into the tiny cups and allowed to cool slightly, where the dregs of coffee grounds and sugar supposedly settles out.
Woe to the Western drinker who is used to draining his cup! They receive a mouthful of grounds!

Wedding Cake Article

I'm of two minds about this article: I wanted it to be really factual and filled with advice and information that the usual bride may not know, but I think it actually reads a bit jerky, especially with the editorial cuts that were made. Oh well! Check it out here, it is now online!
Tons of Mahalos to Maria Short at Short N Sweet bakery in Hawi: This is her cake, and I interviewed her extensively for the article.

Hawaiian Egg Farm

My last Hawaii Island Journal article is now up on their archive site. Take a look here, or use the link in the sidebar.
(I had a great time making Spaghetti Carbonara and Devilled Eggs with my jumbo flat of eggs!)

I Always Thought it Was a 3 Second Rule...

An article in the New York Times explores some recent research on the old 5-second rule (wherein if you drop food and pick it up within 5 seconds it is good to go).
A snippet:

What do these numbers tell us about the five-second rule? Quick retrieval does mean fewer bacteria, but it’s no guarantee of safety. True, Jillian Clarke found that the number of bacteria on the floor at the University of Illinois was so low it couldn’t be measured, and the Clemson researchers resorted to extremely high contamination levels for their tests. But even if a floor — or a countertop, or wrapper — carried only a thousandth the number of bacteria applied by the researchers, the piece of food would be likely to pick up several bacteria.
(snip)
Of course we can never know for sure how many harmful microbes there are on any surface. But we know enough now to formulate the five-second rule, version 2.0: If you drop a piece of food, pick it up quickly, take five seconds to recall that just a few bacteria can make you sick, then take a few more to think about where you dropped it and whether or not it’s worth eating.

Oh Yeah Baby!

I just checked my name on the Mob Name Generator, and you know what it said?
"The DELICIOUS"!
Muh-ah-ha-hah!

Food Critic Wins Pulitzer!

No, it wasn't me.
Rather: Jonathan Gold of the Independent LA Weekly. A snippet:

Doused with champagne, Gold said he was "giddy" about winning Pulitzer's criticism prize Monday. Gold, 46, beat out his former colleagues at the Los Angeles Times to become the first food critic to capture journalism's highest honor.

"The Pulitzer Prize is something that, when you're a food writer, you don't even dream about," he said.

Gold started his restaurant-review column, "Counter Intelligence," at LA Weekly in 1986. He brought it to the Los Angeles Times for a few years before returning to the Weekly in 1996.

"I write about Los Angeles through the medium of food," he said. "The great thing about L.A. is what an astonishingly diverse city it is, and I get to hang out in all these neighborhoods. I couldn't imagine a better way to spend my life."

Jade Palace Article is Up!

The online version of the Hawaii Island Journal has posted my last restaurant review of the Jade Palace Chinese Restaurant in Waimea. I have added it to the list in the sidebar, as usual. Excellent and fast Cantonese food!

Big Island Donut Exodus

There is no Krispy Kreme donut shop on the Big Island. So how do we go about eating these delightful treats? Big Island residents fly over to Maui (using cheap inter-island flights or frequent flyer miles: When airlines compete, YOU save!), take a taxi the short distance from the Kahalui Airport to the Krispy Kreme, load up their luggage with donuts, and then return to the Big Island to sell them at the side of the road, out of their parked trucks, or at their local shops.
I am not amazed at all about this.
But then...I used to drive from Northern California to Las Vegas Nevada and load up on Boston Creme Donuts from Dunkin'Donuts, so maybe I am not the best judge of odd donut-seeking behavior.

Pile of Coconuts!

No Place for Love in the Kitchen!

I was reading this article in the New York Times about couple-dynamics in the kitchen. The article maintains that often the better cook becomes the "Alpha Chef" while the "Beta Chef" is often the victim of criticism and the usual (Professional Kitchen) hierarchy and abuse.
I started disseminating the cooking relationships in my life.
I have been in relationships with two chefs. The first chef was a much better cook than I, and I happily let him cook most nights, while I assisted or made something nearer to my abilities: Baking. We ate a lot, we gained weight, and although we mostly ate at the restaurants of our employ, I think we had an easiness in the kitchen. After all, we had met in culinary school and had first been attracted to each other because of our instant easy working chemistry. I learned a lot from him, and although we have been parted for quite a few years, we follow each others careers, and the other day he called me in a panic for a tart dough recipe.
My recent ex-boyfriend is also an excellent chef. He used to come over with groceries and prepare wonderful meals. He also used to ask my advice on subjects I knew better than he: Baking, rolling sushi, food history and the like... But he also used to drink too much and then lecture me on my chopping technique, and he would be overwhelmed with guilt when he inadvertently broke something.
I loved this article, because I have often found ice cream to be a metaphor in a relationship: Share a pint or scoop into bowls? Equal portions? Flavors? Who gets to choose the flavors? Who holds the pint? Separate spoons or shared spoons?
I had one ex with whom I couldn't share ice cream: We were too competitive. I had another ex who liked to wear the ice cream. That was fun. But messy! I once predicted the breakup of a couple due to anger and repressed sexual tension: They shared a pint and a spoon, and passed it back and forth by stabbing the spoon viciously into the pint.
It is often said that you can taste the love in a dish, as if we are all living in a scene from "Like Water for Chocolate" or something. But sometimes other emotions are involved: Jealousy, Control, Competitiveness, Sexual tension, and pre-existing relationship power dynamics. Sometimes the meal isn't about lovingly providing for your family's health. Sometimes it is for praise, revenge, or power.
Watch what you communicate, and watch what you eat!

Goat Cheese

Yay! The Journal posted my last review, of the Hawaii Island Goat Dairy, on it's website! You can find it here, or by following the sidebar link.
Check out the website for the Dairy, as well.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!
I began Christmas morning making crepes for my family. I used one of my brand-new, work gift-exchange non-stick skillets! I love the rhythm of making crepes: That moment when the pan is exactly hot enough and seasoned, and the crepes just smooth out over the bottom, are cooked and flipped and end up light and fluffy and lacey. We filled them with nutella, homemade lemoncurd, and ham and cheese.
Next I made pies for my mother's party later in the day. Have yet to hear how they went.
Thanks to my parents, who bought me lucious copper-bottomed stainless steel pots for my brand-new stove! (What does it mean when your parents start buying you traditional wedding gifts for Christmas? Have they given up?)

Just One

The bounty at the farmers market can sometimes be overwhelming: Mountains of greens, tumbling heads of lettuce, heaps of avocados. A veritable horn of plenty offered by our local farmers. I love it: A pocketful of bills and a few spare grocery bags can turn into a weeks worth of vegetables, an awesomely local and healthy meal, a celebration of the labors and talents of our local small farms.
Last Saturday I was purchasing heads of ruffley lettuce from Honopua Farms when I witnessed the following transaction:
Ron: All the lettuce is 2.50 per pound.
Shopper hands Ron one head of lettuce and $2.50.
Ron: Oh no, that is too much. It's 2.50 per pound...
Shopper: But it's only me.
Ron: One head of lettuce is only like 50 cents...
Shopper: But it's only me...

It was sad to me that this shopper felt she should almost apologize for cooking only for herself, should almost have to pay the per pound rate yet only take one small head of lettuce. Like feeding yourself well, like only buying what you need, is somehow not acceptable. I think we are constantly encouraged towards overbuying in huge quantities. Costco and package stores convince us we need massive amounts of things, food is in huge portions or super-sized, and a lone diner is not expected to treat themselves well.
My biggest pet peeve in restaurants occurs when I walk in the door, unaccompanied by a date, husband, or family, and am stared up and down by the hostess. With a sneer, she asks, "JUST One?" I feel immediately judged, like I must be such a loser to come in alone, dateless. Or that I must be some sort of glutton who will sit at a table, pig out, and leave the waiter with a reduced income at a "wasted" table. None of this is true, of course. I very often dine alone because I enjoy it. I don't have to make conversation, I don't have to abide dining companions who want to "help" me with my criticism, and I don't have to shell out cash to lug along a date just so the hostess won't give me that look. (I also go to movies alone).
As a point of advice: Hosts can still do their job, greet a customer, and find out about a reservation without being so judgmental. The problem lies solely in the use of the word, "Just". That small qualifier doles out the judgment! Instead, I offer, "One for dinner?" and the always useful, "Is there a reservation I can check in?" Both statements find out information and acknowledge the customer, without the accompanying judgment.
Incidentally, as a single diner, I tend to tip my waiter more, because I am aware that a single diner may not yield as much income as a table with more diners (of course, I often order the monetary equivalent of multiple diners...). And I know that in all the fine dining establishment in which I have worked, the single diner is treated with extra care: Often their entrees are hurried, or more staff make an effort to stop by and chat. All of this is appreciated.
Perhaps the problem here is loneliness. As singles (and re-singles), we often feel the glances full of pity or judgment when we do things alone. Or we feel the need to explain ourselves, "No really, I'm not sad and dateless, I'm here alone by choice, and dammit I only need one tiny head of lettuce! And I have people in my life who love me! Really!"
Sadly, it is more acceptable to drown loneliness by over-indulging. That same host would probably totally get it if I stayed home alone and fed my emotional loneliness with a costco sized tub of iced cream while perched in front of the television. But no!
Singles Everywhere! You are worth a dinner out! You are worth going to see the movie YOU want to see! And you don't have to over-buy out of guilt or explanation! Look at all the money and cupboard space we can save: Raise your tiny single-serving lettuce heads in pride!

I concede.

I hereby concede my "Pastry Queen" crown to Maria. She blows me out of the water for addictive and beautiful desserts, and the girl can make a damn good cupcake.
And I usually hate buttercream!

Earthquake!!!

Hawai'i earthquake, right near where I live. 6.7! And plenty of aftershocks! This is what my house looks like after the Earthquake that hit today (okay, we stacked those 3 boxes on the right while searching for the cat). Shelves empty, all glass broken, drawers open, pictures off the wall, cracks in the plaster, door doesn't shut right, and cat headin' for the hills! No electricity, gas shut off, no water...no cable TV but since my television did a faceplant onto my wood floor, it's not like I can notice. Outside it is even stranger: Several cracks across roads and bridges, huge landslides and boulders in the roads, broken water mains flooding the streets. All the streetlights are out (Drive with Aloha people! And an out streetlight means a four-way stop!) but since there are only 3 streetlights in town, we are doing okay.
My mother and I went through the 1989 earthquake in Northern California, so we are jaded Californians about it. When the shaking started, we knew instantly what it was, and for the first few seconds it is a bit of a fun ride. Then the knowledge kicks in, and in our heads we go through the following thought process: "Earthquake! This is fun!...Wait, this is strong! Wait, this is going on too long! Okay, fine, I'll get up and head away from the windows...Hmmm...About a 6, maybe 7..." Funny how I didn't notice things falling. I moved away from the walls and windows, and I watched the walls shake. I guess the structure was more of a worry than the falling items. Immediately afterwards, I went outside, of course. Checked on the neighbors, all whom were looking for pets. The first aftershock came while I was outside, the ground surging in P-waves, like dirt surfing, under my feet.
Ironically, my big strong father is taking it the worst. He was away during the 89 earthquake, and maintains this was the worst earthquake he has felt in his life: Stronger than any in California or Japan. My mother and I set to work cleaning up the glass, but since we have moved alot, been through earthquakes, and, well, we are both pretty clumsy, we had experience in briefly mourning and throwing out the broken shards of favorite things. These items are just possesions. They are with you for awhile and then they break and you move onwards.
What is more important is the blessing of everyone's safety, and family and friends are fine. Utilities are back on, our service-people in safety and utilities sprang to work, and I hear we are under a state of emergency. The beauty of it is how everyone pulls together, sits outside, waves at cars, calls all their friends to make sure everyone is okay. Thank you to everyone who called, emailed, texted, and checked or commented on this site! What aloha!

Writing Going Live!

Check it out! The Hawaii Island Journal is slowly but surely publishing more articles online! Included is my last restaurant review of Tommy Bahama's.

The Esquire

My friend says goodbye to a beloved watering hole here. Beautiful post. Please check it out.
Although he is not technically a food writer, and this is a bar and not a restaurant, he has managed to acheive what I always strive for: He made me feel like I was there, with only his words. I am sad for the closing of a bar I have never actually been to.

Violence in Thailand

From the New York Times:

Jesse Lee Daniel had just called for mustard for his chicken burger when the first bomb went off with a thud strong enough to shake the Swan Bar, where he was sitting in the southern city of Hat Yai.
After the second bomb last Saturday evening, 100 yards away at the Odeon department store, he hurried out with other foreign teachers who had been eating at the bar to take a look.
He was standing in front of the New Cherry Ancient Massage parlor, in a crowd of onlookers and masseuses, when the third bomb exploded on a motorbike parked at the curb beside them.
Mr. Daniel, a Canadian, died instantly, apparently the first Western victim of the almost daily violence that has taken more than 1,700 lives since the start of 2004 in Thailand’s largely Muslim south.
(snip)
The next morning, when Boonmi Ngoeichai, 27, returned to the Swan Bar, where she works as a waitress, she discovered that the manager had saved Mr. Daniel’s chicken burger, still unsure why he had not returned to eat it.
When he learned that Mr. Daniel had been killed, the manager threw it away. But he immediately regretted what he had done, she said.
“Oh, I wish I hadn’t done that,” the manager said. “I wish I’d saved it, and I could have taken it out to feed his spirit.”

Pu-erh Tea

While I am quite the bad vegan, another habit of good health has been quite the pleasure: The consumption of Pu-erh Tea. My lovely friend got me started with this tea by purchasing a tin for me, and recently sent me the rich, 8 year aged tea in the photo. She has it for sale on her online tea shop.
While I am lucky enough to have an authentic Chinese tea pot (thanks, sis!) dedicated to the brewing of only Pu-erh tea, I thought some instructions may be useful. Following please find the instructions listed in the tea shop:

Brewing Palace Pu-erh Tea
For brewing Palace Pu-erh, take 5 grams (approximately two teaspoons) of the loose tea and place in a teapot or gaiwan. Wake up the tea by pouring 4-6 ounces of boiling water over it and letting it sit for 15-30 seconds. Pour off the rinse water. Smell the Pu-erh tea and enjoy it before adding more water. Add 8 ounces of boiling or just boiled (do not let the water simmer or over-boil) to the teapot and infuse for 10 seconds. Pour off into a serving vessel or directly into your teacups. This can be repeated for 3-7 additional rounds with the same tea.

Mini-Cheesecakes

I recently dug out this recipe from one of my earliest spiral-bound recipe cards. I had forgotten how fun, fast, easy, and cute these little morsals are! I made a batch of lemon-blueberry ones for a friends birthday, and a batch of cherry ones for a Bon Voyage party. (And I saved a few for myself, and topped them with Amarena Cherries!)
This recipe came to me from an ex-boyfriend, who used to take them as potluck favorites. Note that 'Nilla Wafers have gotten smaller in recent years. What up with that?
Update: They lasted a mere 20 minutes or so. One lovely coworker hoarded a bunch to take home! I love it when people like what i make them.

Scorpion Belly Eggplant Dishes of Yore

In my present search for eggplant dishes, I came across this great article about a 10th Century cookbook. Charles Perry writes for Saudi Aramco, "Cooking With the Caliphs":

It comes as a surprise that eggplant shows up so rarely in these recipes. In today’s Arab world, it is sayyid al-khudaar, the lord of vegetables, but at the time it was a recent import from India and not yet quite popular. It was considered impossibly bitter; in a widely repeated anecdote, a Bedouin declared that eggplant had “the color of a scorpion’s belly and the taste of a scorpion’s sting.” It was actually considered bad for the health. Doctors blamed it for everything from freckles and a hoarse throat to cancer and madness.

Yeah...that's it...that's where my freckles come from...but who you callin' Mad?

More Excessive Produce! Japanese Eggplant Version

A farmer brought this massive box of Japanese Eggplants into my work today. Now, since they are free and on the elder side of fresh, I must use them up quickly. (However, even non-farmer-market-fresh is still pretty darn fresh!)
In my humble opinion, eggplant needs olive oil, salt, and high heat to be delicious, and very little else. The best eggplant I have ever had was sliced, salted, and fried in a huge iron kettle at stall #54 in the Djamaa el Fna in Marrakesh. I could have eaten every piece that came out of that kettle!

Oooooo! Presents!

Sixteen days before my birthday, dearest BF gave me presents!
My favorite glasses in the world: The Riedel Burgundy glasses! And if that wasn't enough, the very chic and modern Riedel "O" stemless glasses in both Pinot and Chardonnay versions! And if that wasn't enough: A 40 bottle wine rack for my spiffy new kitchen! And if that wasn't enough: A beautiful bottle of 1994 Sea Smoke Botella Pinot Noir!
I am in heaven with all the winey attention, and immediately popped a bottle of Supermarket Pinot (BV Coastal) to test out the Riedel glasses against any other glass in my arsenal. Riedel claims that they have designed each glass to best bring out the characteristics of its named grape varietal: They design the glass to enhance both the aroma and the flavor or the wine. A very fun time can be had by testing their theory!
Pour similar sized tastes of the same wine into several of your favorite glasses, including your brand-new birthday Riedel glasses! Swirl, sniff, taste, and speculate until bottle is empty and all your glasses are dirty and in the sink. Repeat (with progressively less expensive wines!).

How to Dismember an Offensive Pineapple

Dearest BF brought me this sweet white pineapple from "someone at work who grows them". I was pleased, as I always am, when he brings me anything. Perhaps I am so starved for affection and sweetness that I grasp at the first prickly secondhand fruit I can get and read affection into it. I love fruit. When I was a child, my father and I would finish all the fruit on the table, while the rest of the family chose other items. Lately I have been yearning for the peaches, nectarines and apricots of California summers, and trying to be happy with what I have at hand: Prickly tropical fruit, and a somewhat prickly and distant man.

Grasp the pineapple firmly, and with your beloved's dangerously sharp Japanese vegetable knife, swiftly decapitate the leafy top of the pineapple. Turning the fruit, decisively slice the disc of root end, leaving a solid cylinder on your cutting board.

My father worked in the pineapple fields during World War I. I guess the kids helped bring the fruit in during wartime. He talks about how hot and itchy it was, and how they would refresh themselves by eating the pineapple cores rejected by the cannery. (Dole? Maui Pineapple? You getting this about child labor, and product losses?) Pineapple cores for him are a taste of childhood: the sweet fruit, drippy juice, and woody stringy texture of the core. He almost prefers them to the soft outer fruit, and he was the one who first taught me how to cut a pineapple.

With your beloved's excessively sharp knife, cut the skin from the pineapple in long, curved strips, following the curve of the fruit. The peel should be thin, just taking off the green reptilian skin, and leaving most of the yellow fruit behind. The cylinder left behind should be bright, juicy, yellow with "eyes" left on the fruit. Discard the peel and base, keeping the top only if you plan on using it for decoration.

My beloved BF, whom I adore beyond a logic or reason, does stupid things that make me, my friends, and my family doubt his character. When I received this pineapple from him, I took it down to my parent's house. I did this for two reasons: I wanted to share the fruit with my father, like we did when I was young. Maybe he could cut it for me, since he does a much cleaner and more beautiful job than I. The second reason was perhaps more crafty: I wanted to show off the gift. Use the pineapple to say, "See? He can be really sweet, and sometimes he brings me stuff and tells me I am beautiful and I think he loves me and I am sure he doesn't mean the moodiness and criticisms and such...Look! Pineapple! See!"

Cut out the eyes: The nicest way to do this is slicing a wedge along about 3 eyes at a time. This leaves a beautifully spiraled, eye-free fruit. My father's spiraling is much shallower, prettier, and geometric. Mine is a bit hacked. I have also used my tomato corer on tougher fruit, although it tends to tear really ripe fruit. The eye areas are tougher than the surrounding soft fibers.

Yesterday he came over all moody and with his Irish all up. He searched the refrigerator for the pineapple, and I reported that I took it down to the house. He was enraged that I could give away his pineapple. He claimed that next time he just wouldn't give me anything, and when the grower at work asked him how it was, he would have to lie. I protested that I didn't give it away and it wasn't that I didn't like it or the thought behind it, I scurried down to the house and brought the pineapple back, but it was too late. He stormed out and I haven't seen him since.

If you own a pineapple corer, now is the time to use it to remove the core. If not, the core can be removed by cutting the pineapple into quarters lengthwise, slicing off a triangle of core from each wedge, and then slicing the fruit as desired. The cores can be given to my father (if that doesn't offend anyone). I chose to puree the cores and the eyes in the blender, pass the puree through a strainer, add coconut milk, ice, and rum, and make the following delightful tropical beverage.

So today I slice the crap out of the offending pineapple, leaving tasty chunks in the refrigerator in case he comes back. I won't bring it down to my Dad, I won't bring it to work, I will cherish every damn slice of this fruit like it is the edible affection I so desire. After all, when life gives you lemons, skin the f**kers for the zest, slice them open, cram a citrus reamer into their hearts, pulse their juicy lifeblood out, and drink it with copious amounts of tequila.

(This is a Duane Fish Tiki Mug from Honolulu from about 1960. It is chipped but I love it. See also copious cocktail monkeys!)

Cherry Tartlets

I had just enough tart dough left over to make these silver-dollar sized mini cherry tartlets. I free-formed the dough into rimmed cookies, filled with chopped and sugared bing cherries, and served with a dollop of vanilla yoghurt.
I miss cherries, but at least the Bing Cherries from the west coast can travel to us only a bit bruised. What I really miss are peaches, nectarines and apricots so fragrant and delicious! Like summer on a pit! I contemplate spending too much money on shipping in order to experience Frog Hollow peaches. And check out what Julie is doing at Oliveto: White Peach Sorbetto?! 'June Pride' Peaches with Prosecco Zabaglione and Blackberry Sauce?!?! You are killing me! Well...I have...Papayas...I guess that is the same...

Chocolate Walnut Tarts

I made these delectable Chocolate Walnut Caramel tarts for my friend's birthday: He is the kind of guy who likes Tarts!
I used to make this recipe all the time when I worked for Pastry Chef Chris Draa at Wente Vineyards in Livermore California. That was my first pastry job! Chef Draa later contributed the recipe in a Livermore Winery cookbook entitled "Cooking a Honker". We served the tart at the restaurant with chocolate and caramel sauces on the plate, and a dollop of Chantilly Cream.
The tart is regular tart dough (I love tart dough! So tender! So crisp! So endlessly forgiving and versatile!) filled with Walnuts and huge chocolate chunks, and a rich caramel sauce poured over. There are just enough eggs in the caramel to solidify the tart into a rich gooey candy-like confection.
We used to steal a broken piece, cut it into bite sized morsels, and store it on a plate in the reach in for instant sugar-shock snacking.

No, I am NOT a Cucumber Cookie!

You Are a Chocolate Chip Cookie

Traditional and conservative, most people find you comforting. You're friendly and easy to get to know. This makes you very popular - without even trying!

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

Oh Now I Have Done It...

Cucumber Cocktail:
1 oz Sake
1/2 oz Homemade Limoncello (perhaps more on that later)
2 oz Cucumber water (squeezed and filtered from shredded cucumbers)
Squeeze Lime
Shaken in cocktail shaker and served in an antique green coupe with slice cucumber and, of course, green cocktail monkey!

Now, I really liked the cucumber latkes, don't get me wrong... But this is just... the epitome of refreshing!

Even More Cucumbers!

Cucumber Latkes With Cucumber Raita:
Cucumber Latkes were shredded and squeezed cucumbers and onions, spiced with salt, pepper, Chinese Five Spice (I lacked my first choice of Anise), Chili, and Tabasco, mixed into a batter with flour and eggwhite, and fried in Canola Oil in a cast iron skillet. I ate them with ketchup and some cucumber Raita.
Cucumber Raita was shredded and squeezed cucumbers and minced garlic, mixed with yoghurt and spiced with s&p, dill, and chili pepper.

I now have a jar of cucumber juice, and am contemplating cocktails. Although I read that cucumber juice mixed with lemon juice is a secret to clear skin...

More Cucumbers!

Egyptian Cucumber Salad:
This salad is everywhere in Egypt, and I ate tons of it there and since. It is best with fresh sweet summer cucumbers and ripe red tomatoes, and it is simply dressed in vinegar, lemon juice, salt and plenty of pepper. I have also had it with onions, garlic, green peppers, parsley, sprinkles of cumin or cayanne pepper...
This salad was just cucumber, tomato, garlic, lemon zest and the dressing.

When I told Adrastas of the cucumber bounty, he expressed his love of Egyptian salad and confided that his favorite part was removing the bitter from the cucumbers: Slicing off the end and rubbing the exposed parts together furiously. It seems I had heard something about this, and I must admit that it is fun, but does it work? How does it work? And how do you know it works unless you taste it first and compare? I speculated about the plants protecting themselves against decapitation or insect attack, and then I turned to the internet and found out the following facts (none of which answered my question):
* Cucumbers on the vine really are "cool as a cucumber": Their internal temperature will often be 20 degrees cooler than air temperature.
* Bitterness is prevalent in the dark green skins and the light green sections right under the skins. Bitterness is most often found in the stem end rather than the blossom end.
* Slicing the cucumber thin and soaking in salted ice water is supposed to remove bitterness. Perhaps through osmosis into the saline solution?
* Bitter comes from Cucurbitacin, a chemical that probably developed in the plant as a natural pesticide. So it does kind of make sense that the cucumber might rush this chemical to a bitten or otherwise exposed bit of flesh to deter insects. This chemical is supposedly beneficial and anti-cancer in small doses.
* Burping is supposedly caused by Cucurbitacin, although others claim it is from the seeds. If both are true, then is the bitterness also in the seeds?

To bring it back to the Egyptian Salad, I found this quote from Groser's Scripture Natural History:

We need not altogether wonder that the Israelites, wearily marching through the arid solitudes of the Sinaitic peninsula, thought more of the cucumbers and watermelons of which they had had no lack in Egypt, rather than of the cruel bondage which was the price of these luxuries.

442 Cucumber Recipes?

Someone dropped off a huge box of cucumbers at work yesterday. We divvied up the bounty with dreams of namasu in our heads. J suggested a contest to see who came up with the best recipes. I suggested cucumber margaritas with Hawaiian Rock Salt rims. I gave some to my mom, who searched for her Japanese Pickle recipe she has used since she lived in Japan,where I was born. I love old family recipes!

I slivered some up and showed my BF how to roll sushi. The rolls got progressively worse as the Sake flowed and I neglected to take a photo.
Epicurious.Com lists 442 cucumber recipes...

I Told You We Were Dangerous!

And I thought knitting needles were bad:
Seems being a food writer could land you in Airport Security these days. This article from Yahoo Strange News tells of a Saveur writer who closed down the airport in Tallahassee with Honey:

The way that the honey, electronic gear and batteries were positioned looked like an improvised explosive device, he said.
Todd Coleman, food editor for New York-based Saveur magazine, was detained but later released after the bag was removed from the terminal and a robot opened it to disclose the contents.
"I was afraid they were going to blow my bag up," Coleman said. "It would have blown my story up."
Coleman said he was in Tallahassee to visit his parents, who live in the area, and to write about the food of nearby Apalachicola, Florida's oyster capital. The Apalachicola area also is famous for tupelo honey, which Coleman had in his bag.

I have had my bag opened in the airport to reveal 4 jars of Amarena Cherries...And there was that time in Tijuana when my bag was searched to reveal a quart of Vanilla...And the drug dogs were unusually interested in my bag containing smuggled un-pasteurized French cheese...Or that time when my brother and I smuggled eggs and milk into Chuuk...
But probably the best ever confiscation story:
My roommate's mother mailed a care package of Mexican and Italian foods and ingredients to her and her hungry college roommates. All arrived safely except one bag of Oregano. We figured there was an Egyptian customs official somewhere smoking our oregano and wondering why he wasn't feelin' it...